Crashing Down
by SeeingRomionebows
Summary: 'I hoped it hurt them to watch me unravel, to watch me break, to watch my walls crash down.'
1. Chapter One Prologue

My name is Alexandra Jean DiMeco. When I was two years old I named myself "Allie" and fifteen years later the nickname is still standing. If you're not great at math (like me) then that means I am now seventeen years old. I was born June 12, 1992 at two pounds thirteen ounces. All was well and happy until I was diagnosed with Leukemia at the tender age of ten. But apart from that one minor detail, I like to think I live a privileged life with supportive, family and friends. My dad is a single one, and I am an only child, though my cousin Brooke who is about my age, a few years older practically lives with us. I'll admit it, I honestly have no idea where would I be without them. I also have a dog named Chloe and she is a Shih-Tzu. I was born and raised in Waterbury, Connecticut. It's quant and I wouldn't want it any other way. Im surrounded by the most loving and understanding people imaginable. There is so much more I could say... but seriously I tend to ramble. Anyways to wrap up, I just want to say that I am a very loyal person. I am a perfectionist, an pacifist, an optimist, a best friend, a granddaughter, a niece, a daughter, a writer, a student, a texter, a thinker, video gamer, a nerd, and most of all a lover.

Scratch that part about the most understanding people around because it was only partly true. My peers at school, they don't understand my... condition. They wouldn't understand neither about how hard it is to get to the other side. Honestly it's like getting both short ends of the stick. But I endure it, like my father says and I quote 'They are shameless neanderthals. Not worth the thought or tears'

With that I take you figured that... Yes. I, among almost everyone else, have experience, and been a victim of bullying. It is not something anyone should be ashamed of as it happens to so many people. This is an issue that needs to be discussed, but so many people are afraid to speak out about it because they feel embarrassed about it…so let me break the ice.

Bullying came into effect when hormones did. Around sixth grade is when it started for me. A new school, new classmates, and many new opportunities. I wanted to be popular so bad I thought I would have done anything to fit in. I made some bad choices, such as choosing the "popular" friend over the true friend, and my priorities were all out of line…but hind sight is always twenty twenty and we all learn from our mistakes. Im not proud of my choices, but I am honest about them. In seventh grade is when my life drastically changed, I was at the most dangerous stage of Leukemia, the treatment. It can be both extremely important and at the same time extremely dangerous. I was dumbfounded when my friends reactions were mean and belittling instead of supportive. Long story short, these girls began to pick on me for everything, what I wore, my hair because I had so very little left at the time, my short height, how young I looked compared to them, my ethnicity…and the lowest blow of all…they made fun of me for not having a mother. I remember hating my life in middle school. I would complain to my dad and all he could say was "Oh sweetheart, they are just jealous" but no person getting picked on wants to hear "they are just jealous". It feels like a lame excuse that a mother or father would make that doesn't explain anything. I came to realize that I didn't really care what they said about me. I was happy "doin mah thang" working hard to get good grades, and making friendships that still stand to this day. I had made it through what I believed was the worst.

Transitioning from middle school to high school is like making the transition from your towns tween park and rec. softball team with the girls who are just there to have fun and play a game to playing on the high school softball team with the girls whos arms are double your size and their arms (which are the size of your legs) throw pitches that scare the life out of you. High school scares the life out of you. Everything comes a lot faster, stronger, and meaner, similar to the pitches these men dressed as girls are throwing.

I would say "I remember my first day of high school" but I can't because I wasn't there. I was hospitalized, I was too weak to merely function. Great way to start my new high school…as the sick girl. I knew no one either. I arrive at school mid October and had a really great freshman year. I made friends with almost everyone, even the upper class men, joined the JV cheer team, attended most of the football and basket ball games, and made memories to last a life time. Many people asked me why I didn't make the choice to just be home schooled like others with Leukima who couldn't make it to school half the time. But I responded with the reasoning that I wanted to maintain a normal high school life. I didn't want to miss a thing. Well I didn't… especially not the bullying that comes with it. I began getting bullied in my sophomore year. It was this year that I got my first boyfriend. I remember liking him so much! I got criticized for not "doing anything" with him by the other girls who were "doing stuff" with their boyfriends. They made fun of me that I wanted a boy "friend" who was my companion, someone to complain to, and just someone I knew was going to call me before I went to bed. I didn't want anything physical because I wasn't ready and I believe that teenagers rush into things these days. At least some bullying was reasoned for. I developed relationships with girls that didn't care for me to say the least. To be honest, I am not sure why. I think it was maybe because I don't smoke, drink, fool around with guys, and neglect my responsibilities in school. It could also be that I was always missing school. Again in high school I got made fun of for my ethnicity….let me repeat…in HIGH SCHOOL I got made fun of for my ethnicity. Take a second to just listen to that. In high school I expected everyone to be mature, but I was wrong. I can understand making fun of me because I didn't want to drink, or smoke, or have sex, or even that I was afraid to fail a test. But to make fun of a person over something they cannot control is just trivial. What did they expect me to say "Oh I'm sorry I'm a quarter korean…I promise on Monday I won't be". Lets all grow up here. Anyways, these girls still go out of there way to antagonize me. What irony that I met these girls at a catholic school. You would think I would be upset, or jaded by them, but I honestly am not. Through then I realized that I am a strong, determined, and powerful girl. I love that I am made of a billion different heritages, I love that I am short, I love that I stuck to my morals, I love that my father wouldn't be ashamed of anything I have ever done. And most of all, I love how I am dealing with their bullying.

Contrary to what my peers may believe, this spring break is going to be different. So far everything is going my way. I aced my mid-terms with flying colours and I am free to spend this spring break how I please. Brooke and I are in the progress of constructing a list. A list of everything I'd like to do this spring break and we're going to complete it. Which may or may not, I hope not, get sidetracked by the fact I have regular check ups at the local hospital. These past few weeks my results have been poor. So they've decided to monitor me very closely.


	2. Chapter 2 A day in the life of Allie

Allie stirred in her sleep, restlessly, tears streaming wildly down her rosey cheeks, soaking her white pillow throughly. _It was just a nightmare_. Her eyes cracked open a tad fraction. Just enough to peer over at the endside table, and read the flashing neon green numbers of her alarm clock. _8:07_ the alarm clock read. Allie exhaled a few deep breaths, rubbing her eyes as she slipped out of the warmth of her duvet. Allie wiped away the dried tears on her cheeks, and brushed away the hair clinging to the tears as she sauntured downstairs, and into the kitchen. She could only muster to think what was this unexplainable feeling. She felt decidedly light-headed, and a tad overheated. Sort of feeling relaxed and almost drifting between wake and sleep. She yawned as she drew nearer to her father, idly sitting at the table, with a black coffee in one hand the news paper in the other.

"Morning, pumkin." he said, mid-sip of his coffee. "Come sit and have some breakfast," he gestured the empty seat opposite him as he set his coffee cup down. Subconciously Allie nodded and sat down in the unoccupied seat, buttering herself a piece of multigrain bread.

* * *

><p>Being homesick is one of the worst feelings in my opinion mainly because there is no real quick fix for it. I woke up so homesick for my best friends. My best friend Kristina lives in the bronxs you see, so our visits are limited. K and I go way back, I remember the first chance encounter between us like it happened yesterday. I met her in kindergarten, I remember vividly notcing her prescene the first day of her arrival. She had her long chocolate brown waves that were firmly tied back in lopesided piggy-tales, she'd obviously insisted on doing herself. She was wearing a yellow flowered dress with matching balerina flats. She looked like a lost soul wandering the playground alone at recess time. I confronted her, took her by the hand and offered to show her around. From that point on we bonded in a way that I have never experienced before. She is so caring and kind while also being just as silly as me. We are always trying to come up with silly jokes and such. K and I have grown up to discover we have the same interests, and of course we have a burning passion for two things, forever 21 and Taylor Lautner. My house is also Kristinas as hers is mine. Same goes for our families. We are all so close and it was fate that brought us together and I know together we can and will do something great.<p>

* * *

><p>"I want someone to unconditionally love me for who, not who they want me to be. Sort of like a companion, a soul mate, my soul mate." Allie spoke softly, her chin resting against her fist as she propped her elbow up on the engraved frame of the windowsill. The corners of her mouth tugging into a warm smile as she tailed off, listening to the sound of pattering rain on her skylight window.<p>

"I think that you connect too much with the love in novels. The idea is too overpowering, Als. You believe it's all encompassing love and the fact of it being more important and special than anything and everything else. It's enevitable, Allie. Is this your fantasy place, Als? You're fairy tale, Utopia?" Brooke sneered, her tone was distinctive and unusually cold as she brushed a hand through the long, blondish-white curls that cascaded neatly down her shoulders, Allie bowing her head.

"Perhaps, it is all a little unorthodox i'll admit. But how do you know there isn't anyone like that?" Allie questioned, Brooke grimacing at her in disbelief.

"Becuase i've been there, Allie. I've been that naive girl who believes in loving somebody forever. But i've come to terms that it simply isn't possible, Als and I think you should too." Brooke said, harshly, her eyes darkening in angst.

"Does this have anything to do with, David?" Allie questioned, finally lifting her downcast gaze. Brooke seized, primping in the vanity mirror, swallowing the large knot thayt had devoloped in throat, turning and facing Allie with feigned indifference.

"David... N-no. This has nothing to do with.. him" isjointed syllables escaped Brooke's lips.

* * *

><p>Allie stripped to the bare, staring into the full lengh mirror through despair filled bloodshock eyes. She had absolutely no hair left to speak of. She missed the comfort of her long hazelnut, brown waves cascading over her shoulders, resting on the smalls of her back, she missed her sun-bleached, caramel highlights. In it's place she had a plain cotton green bandana tied firmly around her head. Her skin resembled a map. Her soft, pale, cream skin, was as cold as a winter day in January. Thick blue veins criss-crossed, bulging over the thin, pale skin this pattern lasted from the nape of her neck to down towards her thighs.<p>

"Als, are you in here?" Brooke called from the hallway, jingling the door handle.

"Just a minute!" Allie scrambled to the floor, picking up her dressing gown and slipping it on, rustling to tie it up as she walked to the door and opening it peering her head outside. "Mmmm?" Allie hummed, standing straighter, no longer slumped.

"This came in the mail for you," She finally said, holding out a plain white, but seemingly thick envolope to Allie.

"Taa," Allie said, swiftly snatching it from her hand, the dressing gown sleeve bearing just enough skin to see her wrist, it was translucently pale, with blue veins visible beneath her forearms.

"Allie, does your father know about this?" she whispered, softly grasping her forearm, her fingers splayed across Allie's skin. Allie jerking her hands away in utter shock, just as Brooke's pale, baby blue eyes meet hers and stared hard into Allie's eyes, her gaze penetrating. Allie sauntered back into her room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it as she ripped open the flap of the envolope, slipping the thick letter out and unfolding it. Her eyes scanning through the important sentences in the paragraph.


End file.
